Forget Your Lips

I had a bad Monday today. A murderous one.

Circumstances weren't great to start with, but do you know the worst part of the day?

Me.
My suckie attitude.
And that fact that I was stuck with me the whole day.

And as I was driving home this evening, I heard a song on my iPod that really slapped me on the wrist, particularly the phrase:

"Forget your words;

It's what you do - that is what you say."

(The Little Things - Musician: Shaun Jacobs) 

I realized, listening to such simple wisdom, what a rotten example of patience and kindness and joy I'd been today. Sure, people are people, and people have 'bad days', but man... today I failed!

As usual, my mind wondered completely off-track, and I was thinking about quiet times, prayer,  reading the Bible, worship... I was pondering about the best time to have quiet times, and how it affects my day. You see, certain circumstances have recently forced me to re-locate my usual morning quiet time to evening, and it occurred to me...

My morning quiet times used to serve as a peaceful, positive start to my day. I'm fresh, I commit my day to God and ask for His help.

My evening quiet times seem to now serve more as a remorseful time of repentance for all the foul-tempered and stressed-out things I did and said all day.

Circumstances won't likely change soon - I have to find a way to make this work for me.... without slipping up every single day. Hmm.

Anyways, just some random thoughts, Dear World, and for those who crossed my path today, I hope you'll forgive my blind hooting and crazy-eyed lunacy...

Tomorrow is another day, and I sincerely pray my actions will speak far kinder words than they did today.

Sinking My World

While listening to an old song by the band Delirious? this morning, I was struck by a thought. The song is called "Sanctify" on the King of Fools album, and some of the words go like...

And all I want

is all You have.

Come to me

Rescue me

Follow me

with Your Love. 

I was in my "plan-my-life" world when this song came on. You know, we all have that "My World" - that selfish place in our minds where we tick off things that we've done, and make long lists of the things we want, the changes we wish for, and where we recount the indignant experiences that we've had to wrongfully suffer at the hands of this unfair world...

So I was in this world of mine, and without warning, a most unwelcome thought slapped me across the face. What does it matter, this fickle thing so-called "happiness"? 

What do you mean, "what does it matter??" What an absurd thing to ask. 
Does it matter to eternity? 
I don't know..
Is God's Kingdom better for it? 
God's Kingdom!? Where did that come from? We're not talking about God's Kingdom, we're talking about the things that will make me happy! 
Tell me, if this thing that will bring you so-called happiness would hinder the expansion of God's Kingdom... If your decision to sacrifice this thing you want would result in the saving of lives.... would you sacrifice it?
Wait, wait... I still don't think we're talking about God's Kingdom, can we just get back to the matter at hand? I don't like where this conversation is going. 
Would. You. Sacrifice. What YOU want... for God's Kingdom? 
But what about that stuff about "the desires of your heart" being added to me...? I thought my desires mattered? 
Seek first the Kingdom of God..... And THEN all these thing shall be added unto you... Is that the verse you're talking about? 
Um. Yes that one. 
*Inner voice smiles smugly*


I have these arguments with myself often, so just bear with me.... I'm not saying that our desires aren't important to God, but is it possible that our desires have become too important to us? Do our own desires consume us to the point where we are blind to the desperation of a dying world that needs passionate Jesus-followers to reach out with arms full of life? 

I sometimes get the feeling that  us Christians wipe our forehead with the back our hand, say "Phew! At least I got saved!" and then move onto the finer (and sadly such temporary) things in life. Have we become such a selfish, and self-righteous people, no better than the Jews of Christ's day? Have I?

I'm all for balance. 
Yes, having some degree of happiness in life is good. 
Yes, having my basic needs provided is important, both to me and to God. 
Yes, there is place for personal growth and ambition and the desire to grow my life on earth. 
BUT... 
Never at the expense of God's Kingdom in my life! If God's Kingdom purpose is lacking, then my life is so horribly out of balance, being all about me, me, me... happiness, being a temporary thing, will fade to nothing. 

I'm starting to face the challenge that if I can truly centre my life on what Jesus wants on this earth, He will take care of all the rest - all those things that I arduously try to sort out in "My World", all those things I fret over, the things that keep me up at night, the doubts that haunt me day in and day out... the selfish things.
There are more important things at hand. Life and death.

This really is just the tip of a very large iceberg, one that I'd like to see crashing into the cold, selfishness of my heart, sinking the whole rotten thing... making way for God to transplant His immensely compassionate heart in its place.

All I want

is all You have... 

Everyday, a Random Day

I have these Random Days. They descend on me quite unannounced. I find myself absolutely powerless to defend myself against days such as these… such as the day that I am currently having right now.

On these Random Days, which seem to occur more frequently than not, I am overwhelmed by a “mysterious something” that immerses, envelopes, consumes my heart. On one hand, this something can accurately be described as fuzzy and warm, mushy and bubbly, and quite probably pink. But what absolutely baffles me is how this seemingly fuzzy, warm, mushy (probably pink) bubbly something (are you still with me?) has the capacity to hit me like a bus, quite literally bringing tears to my eyes. It’s like a tidal wave, it crashes into every part of me until I am absolutely sure that I have drowned in it.

Drowned, and yet, not dead.

In fact, so much more alive.

This something doesn’t have a name. I cannot name it, although I have tried.

It is…

…the urge to hug people.

To hug absolutely every soul on this planet. The kind of hug that people remember, those tight ones, the squeeze-ie ones that whisper “I really do care about you” without whispering at all. I have come to call such days “I-want-to-hug-the-world” days. But I suspect, due to the ever-increasing frequency of these days, that I am becoming a “I-want-to-hug-the-world” person.

I work at a hotel. I’m surrounded by people all day. I work with a diverse team, and have gotten to know them on a personal level.

I wish I could hug them. Every. Single. One.

From our biggest teddy-bear of a waiter

to the timid housekeeper with the wide eyes

to our busy managers trapped up behind their desks

to our sweetest barmen with their naughty smiles

to the singing chef filling the food with cheer

to the office ladies talking nonsense to pass the time (and working very hard).

Some people are pregnant with new life;

Some are facing death in their family;

Some are hiding sad secrets behind their eyes;

Most of them laugh every day, regardless of their lives.

I am inspired by them.

But mostly I just love them.

And I want to hug them. So badly.

So, dear World, if I start to jitter and twitch, if I grin like a psychotic fool, if I start giggling through clenched teeth… this is just the picture of desperate self-restraint and as close to composure as I can come. For inside, I am tackling you with a violently-lovable embrace, I am crushing you with my whole heart, I am pouring out the tidal wave of this “something” that’s drowned me to death and then filled me to overflowing with life.

It can only be Jesus. I, alone, am not capable of such Love.

I am reminded of a gorgeous song, accompanied by an even more gorgeous music video. “Everyday”, by the awesome Dave Matthews Band, came out many years ago… but this will never grow old.Love never expires.

Hugs to you Beautiful People of this Planet! 

Love Letters in the Sky

Sometimes life (or God, as I believe) throws you a moment, or an experience, or an encounter... that you wish would last forever, that you pray you will never forget, and that you hope will be repeated in some way in the future. Sadly, we miss those moments completely - we get too busy, we think too much, we're rushing through life.

I am learning to slow down, and keep my eyes open for moments, experiences and encounters like that. I tiptoe over wet grass and take in the cold prickle between my toes. I try to pay more attention to people that I meet, note the colour in their eyes, the sound of their voice. I hold onto feelings of joy, revel in those feelings, allowing myself to giggle childishly and take note of what it feels like to smile.

One thing that I’ve recently become obsessed with is the sky. I stop and look at the sky, and find myself unable to tear myself away. A dear friend of mine once told me that the sky is like a blank page on which God writes love letters, morning, day and night. After some weeks of gazing upward every day, I am starting to believe this too.

The Heavens declare the glory of God;

The skies proclaim the work of His hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them.

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.

It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,

like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens

and makes its circuit to the other;

nothing is deprived of its warmth

(Psalm 19 vs 1 - 6)

I wanted to share some of my Father’s love letters with you – these are images taken with my phone, over the last two weeks. He hasn’t failed to take my breath away, not one day. He is so in love with me.

And with you – I just know it.

Slow down friend.  
Look around.
Breathe in.
Look up.
Take it all in.
Father’s Love is everywhere.
Everywhere!  

You can find this article, and others like it, at Above The Flame. Check out the Above the Flame Facebook page HERE. 

Destroying Your Enemies

Martin Luther King said:

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.” 

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

Have you ever hated someone? I have. 

I could not go a day without seething inwardly about that person, my blood pressure sky-rocketing at their name, my heart burning in the acid of bitterness. My thoughts were a jumbled mess of snide inner remarks, dark imaginings of what I could say to hurt them, what I could do to prove that they were wrong. Then they'd see; yes, then they'd be sorry. 

This person hurt me once. But my choice to hate them hurt myself more - far more - and repeatedly, over and over again. Each bitter thought, like a vial of poison to my own spirit, killing me, turning me into an aged, empty soul, void of compassion and kindness. My inner world lacked beauty altogether, being gobbled up by the ugliness of Hate. I lost myself. Do I really want to be this??

HATE KILLS.

You can choose to love. 

There is nothing elaborate or difficult about love - don't let that be your excuse, it's a feeble one, and I'm not going to buy it. As hard as loving an enemy can seem to be, Love is actually undeniably simple:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
LOVE NEVER FAILS. 
(1 Corinthians 13) 

We've been given an actual step-by-step guide to love, and it is so easy to follow. The thoughts in 1 Corinthians 13 can be summed up and applied in any way imaginable...
When that person keeps you waiting, take a deep breath (not a huffy sigh!) and be gentle.
Compliment them, and enjoy their surprised reaction. 
Look into their eyes when speaking to them. 
Smile. 
Buy them a cup of coffee, or a treat, no strings attached. 
Stand up for them when you know it's right.
Don't count their mistakes - forgive, and never recall their faults... ever again. 
Start fresh every day.
Express sincere happiness for them, when something works out for them. 
Hug them. A genuine (even awkward) hug can melt layers of hatred in an instant. 

If you dare to love like this, you will experience the most remarkable thing: you will find yourself unable to hate. You see, hate is not about the other person, or "wrongs" that they've done to you. Hate is about you. When you choose to Love like this, nothing in the other person changes. YOU CHANGE. Love lights your inner world, bringing with it forgiveness, compassion and understanding, and an abundant supply of more love to dish out. Do I really want to be this?? YES!

Abraham Lincoln couldn't have said it better when he mused: "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"

Will you step up to this challenge:
Destroy your enemy today.
Take no prisoners, annihilate them.
Be merciless with your mercy, hold nothing back.
Gun them down with love.

You can find this article, and others like it, at Above The Flame. Check out the Above the Flame Facebook page HERE. 

TODAY

Feeling a bit rattled this morning. Was stuck in slow-moving traffic on my way to work which, as it turns out, was the result of a hit and run. Some poor dude seems to have been hit on the shoulder of the road, lying twisted in the dirt and bleeding. What a disturbing sight. It must have just happened, because there were no emergency vehicles on the scene, and one police car was just arriving.

There was a handful of people standing around. Just standing around, I couldn’t understand it. Why weren’t they helping him? Why weren’t they trying to check his vitals? Wasn’t there something they could do? Anything at all? My mind was racing, should I stop? Should I pull over and help? Even now I wonder if I should have, could have… just done something…?

I reasoned with myself that the police would know what to do, and drove on.

In hindsight, I realize that the only real reason why a handful of humans would stand by in idleness is that their fellow human on the road was probably already gone. Already too late.

It occurred to me how upset I was. I, a stranger, shedding a tear in my car for a nameless man on the side of the road. I, with nothing invested in this man, mourning his death. It made me think… How much more must God’s heart ache, break, be ripped open, for this man, whom he created, loved, died for, pursued, obsessed over…? How Big is the Love of Papa, for His Beloved!

Fellow Inhabitants of this beautiful, tragic planet, be grateful for your today, for someone else did not get to have it. Say “I love you” to the people you care about. Do something good. Be kind to people around you. Smile at others. Make today count. 

Jonathan David and Melissa Helser Band

This "band" visited our church last week - I put the word band in inverted comma's, because they are so much more than just that: They are carriers of God's revelation. Revelation of His immense, heartbreaking Love, of His everlasting Goodness and Mercy... No words can describe the wonderful tidal wave of worship that Jonathan and Melissa Helser carry with them wherever they raise their music. 


I thought I'd share some words of theirs, which I've taken from Jonathan David Helser's blog - This is what the Lord whispered to Jonathan in a moment of worship. What a beautiful thought. What a beautiful knowledge. God is up to something. I just know it. 

Look at the nations

I'm gonna do something 

Great in your days

You wouldn't believe it

Even if I told you

Watch and be amazed

I want these dreams, Even more than you

Faith is when, you believe that I do

In these days, you will say, I didn't know God could be so good

Go ahead and try Me

You can ask

For anything you want

But I promise 

That I am gonna

Give you more than you ever thought

In these days, you will say, I didn't know God could be so good

-Jonathan David Helser

 - Check out Jonathan and Melissa's website for more info on their visions and ministry -

Open Heart Surgery

Dear Lord, 


I've been asking You to change me, from the inside, and make me into the person that You created me to be. I've been asking You to use me, to make a difference in my little world. 


Last night when I was praying, You laid on my heart to contact someone that I haven't spoken to in a long time. Someone that hurt me, and ultimately, someone that I also hurt in return. You laid on my heart to apologize for my part of the heartache, and to make things right. 


So I did just that, I contacted them, and You gave me the words when I didn't know what to say. Papa, I didn't expect a warm reception of my apology, but I had hoped that my words would fall on a softer heart. Instead, the response was cutting. 


Father, was I not being obedient to You? Did I hear You right? Did You really want me to dredge up the past and really deal with it - I thought we were doing quite well, just burying it until it didn't ache anymore. Deep down, I know it was the right thing. Sometimes, doing the right thing is painful. It can be humbling. Sometimes it even seems to backfire at the time.


My only reward, I guess, is in knowing that I've done everything that You wanted of me. Wow, it was more than a bit uncomfortable, and so humbling that it hurt. But We did it, and I'm glad. That's more than enough reward for me. 


Lord, this is one burnt bridge that may never be re-built. It is my heartfelt cry to You that You will build ten bridges for every broken one, and that someone, somewhere, will be there for this person where I failed them so long ago. 




Matt 5.46 "If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that."

Translation: If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?

As it turns out, being changed from the inside requires some open-heart surgery... but it sure does feel good. 

Steve Turner (who may or may not have been stoned) #2

I think we're long overdue for a Steve Turner poem, it's been many months since I shared with you the literary genius that is White With Two Sugars (Please).


It's hard for me to choose one piece to share, being the Steve Turner fan that I am, but in the spirit of February, Valentines, and all that is 'the month of love', I have chosen two slightly twisted poems on love. 


Enjoy :-)


Ambush - by Steve Turner


I'm never
falling
tumbling
slipping
or tripping
in love again
I had said,
closing my heart
until further notice.
Little did I consider
that even Love had fallen
foul of technological progress.
Unknown to me, Cupid had
long since traded in
his futile wooden bow
for a bright metal machine gun.


I'm back again.
Being very good friends.
Trying hard not to notice
the row of holes
currently appearing
across my chest.




And if your Valentines this year is a little less quirky...


Jilted - by Steve Turner


The first time
you are caught loving
in a just-friendly zone
they fine you
two eyes washed in tears
and a letter of appeal.
The next time it's three unpublished poems,
a few pounds in weight,
and an hour long discussion.
If it should happen
a third time
they have to withhold your feelings
so that your will learn
how to use them properly.




Happy Valentine's Fellow Inhabitants of this Planet - may Love, unconditional, plutonic and romantic, bestow it's wonderful glow on you today!

Twilight: What a Girl Wants

A colleague of mine went to see the Breaking Dawn movie last night, and has assured me of it's sheer awesomeness. So I decided to have a Twilight build-up, starting today. Hubby and I just finished watching Twilight; tomorrow we shall watch New Moon, Saturday we'll watch Eclipse, and Sunday night we shall watch Breaking Dawn.

Before I go any further, allow me to just redeem hubby's reputation by saying that he is in no way, shape or form, interested in or remotely intrigued by Twilight, and he is merely humouring his slightly Twilight-crazed wife. I should add that his absolute eagerness to indulge in these movies is only a front - do not be fooled: deep down he... erm.... really hates these movies. ;-) (just smile and nod)

So back to what I was saying... we just finished watching Twilight, and as far as movies go, it's far from the best quality movie out there, right? And if you've read the book, you'll know how many *amazing* scenes had to be cut out for the sake of time, and how much more to this story there really is. So what is it about this whole saga that has captured people, mostly girls, the way it has?

I have done some inner speculation on this matter, and I've decided that I've got it figured out. It all boils down to one word. One. Incredible. Word. 

Obsession. 

There is a void on this planet. A huge void in the romance department. I don't know if I'm the only one who notices, but people just aren't romantic anymore. I don't define romance as flowers on the verandah, or a goodnight kiss. Or chocolates on Valentines Day, a white wedding, or even a candlelit dinner. It's not a weekend getaway, or expensive jewelry or a spa package. 

I define romance as Obsession. 

And that is what makes Twilight so absolutely irresistible to girls - it is Edward's absolute obsession with Bella. 

He cannot take his eyes off her. 
He follows her.
He breathes her in. (just forget that he's a vampire for a second)
He would die for her. 
He watches her sleep.
He thinks her faults are adorable.
He touches her face continually, as though he can absorb her essence through his finger-tips. (again, forget the vampire part, just for a second!)

Robert Pattinson certainly seems to have a talent in conveying tender obsession - in those searching eyes and, surprisingly enough, in his vocal ability too. Somehow, he even manages to sound desperately in love in his song Never Think, which can be found on the Twilight soundtrack.

Obsession. That is romance. The stuff that fairy tales are made of. Every girl wants to feel obsessed over. Call us vain if you will, but it's how we were created. When she is with a man, she wants to feel as though she is the only person in the room, that nothing else exists to him at that moment. 

That is how I want to feel. 










Ok, so some of you may be feeling nauseous right about now, a bit too much mush for one evening. So here is a favourite blog of mine which looks at this obsession from another angle :-) Some light humour that even I, as a Twilight fan, can appreciate. 

Good night, fellow inhabitants of this planet. Be passionate. Give of yourself freely to the one you love. Be obsessed. 

Midnight ponderings about beauty and war

It's almost that time of year... the time where much of the world unites to commemorate the horrendous attacks on the Twin Towers on 9/11. I know, I know, this subject has become somewhat taboo over time, but I was watching a few minutes of a National Geographic documentary on the event, and I can't help myself. I know there must be millions of 9/11 blogs out there, all lamenting this same thing: how horrific and cruel that day was to the thousands of people who lost their lives, and their loved ones. This should never be taboo.

After a few minutes of National Geographic's disturbing documentary, I decided to retire to bed. As you can tell, I can't sleep, because here I am, lamenting about 9/11, like a million other people. Maybe nothing will ever erase this day from those of us who remember it, or remove the haunting feeling of loss - loss of life, loss of innocence, loss of safety. But I know that what I really need tonight, to get to sleep, is to know that beauty still exists. To know that all over this planet, there are still beautiful things among all the many atrocities.

To know that that there is still love...

And peace...

And innocence...

Unmarred beauty...

Commitment...

Laughter...

Small blessings...

And dreams...

And of course, beautiful music. Daniel Bedingfield sings one of my all-time favourite songs, Honest Questions, which without fail brings a tear to my eye.


Yes. There is still beauty in this world. While remembering the tragedy of 9/11 ten years ago, may you rest assure that all over this wondrous world, there is still beauty!

x Sleep tight x