Steve Turner (who may or may not have been stoned)

When I was a teenager, my mom handed down a book of poetry that she had had in her bookshelf for many years. It’s a book called “Up to date” by Steve Turner, originally printed in 1976, my edition printed 1983.

 The collection of poems in this particular book provided me with hours and hours of amusement, as I read them and re-read them and re-re-read them. I always imagined that Mr. Turner was slightly stoned when writing his poems, as they are far from the ordered rhythm and rhyme of poetry that I had been exposed to beforehand. Sadly, as it turns out, he is a very respectable man, with several best-selling biographies, among other accomplishments – there goes half my amusement.

 I’ve been sick with flu for about 5 days now, and have been off work. Tomorrow I will be returning to the office, and to my real life as I know it. I thought it would be appropriate to send out a poem to all my fellow workers, about the substance that drives us all. 

 It motivates us to get out of bed each morning. It keeps our eyes open when we’ve had enough. It soothes and comforts frayed nerves, yet simultaneously kicks our minds into gear.

 Yes, this is a tribute to none other than that one legal addictive stimulant that many of us obsessively rely on: Coffee

White With Two Sugars (Please) – By Steve Turner

Coffee gives you

a legal shot of

energy when your

eyelids are feeling

down

Coffee kills time

when you’re washed

ashore on the streets

of London.

(Coffee can even

help rainstorms

disappear.)

Coffee is something

to dangle your lips

in when conversation

is scarce.

Coffee is a good

place to take a

new friend.

(Coffee is an excuse

to stay half an hour

longer)

Acquiantanceships end

on the doorstep but

friendships begin

with a coffee.

Coffee can be

appreciated by all

generations.

Coffee is a multilingual,

multi-racial, liquid esperanto.

Yes.

There’s something quite

religious about coffee.