Lunch Thoughts: Angels...

Filled with a sense of wonder today, and for some odd reason, just a knowledge that we are spiritual. And we live in a spiritual realm, as much as we live in the physical.

I was trying to leave work yesterday, and for some reason, my brain was just a scrambled mess. I picked up one bag, and realized I hadn’t packed something. Put it down. Picked up the wrong thing. Put it down. Grabbed my keys and fidgeted for a second, put my keys down, grabbed another bag, and struggled with a zip. Realized the thing I wanted to pack was underneath this bag. Fumbled with the bag and the thing and the blasted thing wouldn’t fit into the bag. Unpacked the whole bag and re-packed it. Got the thing to fit. Fidgeted with my keys and carried on packing various things in various bags. Stopped to apply some lip balm and grab a mint. I gave an exasperated sigh at my ditzy behaviour, scratched my head and finally piled my bags over my shoulder.

Got to my car and received a text message. Took a minute to reply. Finally! I got going.

On my way home, my Dad called to tell me to avoid a portion of the highway because of an enormous and tragic accident that had literally just happened… I was about 2 minutes from the accident site.

This morning I was listening to a sermon where the pastor was talking about his experience with angels, having encountered more than a few in his life. He spoke about he had seen his prayers move angels – that he would speak the word of God, and angels would begin flurrying about carrying out God’s will.

Any funny enough, I’m sitting having lunch and lo and behold my iPod plays a song called “Fly”, by JasonUpton, which allegedly holds the recording of an angel singing toward the end of the song. (I’m a believer)

And so, I am filled with a sense of wonder, because it suddenly occurs to me that I was running late yesterday because that was God’s will. A chill runs over me, as I think about what could have happened, had I left on time and very possibly been involved in that high-speed horrific accident. My card isn’t up yet, and there are angels in the spiritual world, charging back and forth, to and fro, obediently and fervently obeying the God that Loves us, and making it their business to keep me alive.

Wow. Really? Me?

I’m not an angel-chaser, but it is pretty cool to be reminded that I serve the God who charges angel armies in my favour. What shall I fear? 

Indeed, what shall I fear?

P.S. In the video I shared, the angel is heard clearly at 5 minutes 50 seconds - sound technicians were unable to find the source of this beautiful tenor / soprano voice, as it came from Jason Upton's mic. A young boy in the audience spoke to a sound technician during the performance, claiming to have seen a very large man appear behind Jason Upton during the course of this lovely song. 
Believe it, don't believe it. Only God knows.

Sinking My World

While listening to an old song by the band Delirious? this morning, I was struck by a thought. The song is called "Sanctify" on the King of Fools album, and some of the words go like...

And all I want

is all You have.

Come to me

Rescue me

Follow me

with Your Love. 

I was in my "plan-my-life" world when this song came on. You know, we all have that "My World" - that selfish place in our minds where we tick off things that we've done, and make long lists of the things we want, the changes we wish for, and where we recount the indignant experiences that we've had to wrongfully suffer at the hands of this unfair world...

So I was in this world of mine, and without warning, a most unwelcome thought slapped me across the face. What does it matter, this fickle thing so-called "happiness"? 

What do you mean, "what does it matter??" What an absurd thing to ask. 
Does it matter to eternity? 
I don't know..
Is God's Kingdom better for it? 
God's Kingdom!? Where did that come from? We're not talking about God's Kingdom, we're talking about the things that will make me happy! 
Tell me, if this thing that will bring you so-called happiness would hinder the expansion of God's Kingdom... If your decision to sacrifice this thing you want would result in the saving of lives.... would you sacrifice it?
Wait, wait... I still don't think we're talking about God's Kingdom, can we just get back to the matter at hand? I don't like where this conversation is going. 
Would. You. Sacrifice. What YOU want... for God's Kingdom? 
But what about that stuff about "the desires of your heart" being added to me...? I thought my desires mattered? 
Seek first the Kingdom of God..... And THEN all these thing shall be added unto you... Is that the verse you're talking about? 
Um. Yes that one. 
*Inner voice smiles smugly*


I have these arguments with myself often, so just bear with me.... I'm not saying that our desires aren't important to God, but is it possible that our desires have become too important to us? Do our own desires consume us to the point where we are blind to the desperation of a dying world that needs passionate Jesus-followers to reach out with arms full of life? 

I sometimes get the feeling that  us Christians wipe our forehead with the back our hand, say "Phew! At least I got saved!" and then move onto the finer (and sadly such temporary) things in life. Have we become such a selfish, and self-righteous people, no better than the Jews of Christ's day? Have I?

I'm all for balance. 
Yes, having some degree of happiness in life is good. 
Yes, having my basic needs provided is important, both to me and to God. 
Yes, there is place for personal growth and ambition and the desire to grow my life on earth. 
BUT... 
Never at the expense of God's Kingdom in my life! If God's Kingdom purpose is lacking, then my life is so horribly out of balance, being all about me, me, me... happiness, being a temporary thing, will fade to nothing. 

I'm starting to face the challenge that if I can truly centre my life on what Jesus wants on this earth, He will take care of all the rest - all those things that I arduously try to sort out in "My World", all those things I fret over, the things that keep me up at night, the doubts that haunt me day in and day out... the selfish things.
There are more important things at hand. Life and death.

This really is just the tip of a very large iceberg, one that I'd like to see crashing into the cold, selfishness of my heart, sinking the whole rotten thing... making way for God to transplant His immensely compassionate heart in its place.

All I want

is all You have... 

Everyday, a Random Day

I have these Random Days. They descend on me quite unannounced. I find myself absolutely powerless to defend myself against days such as these… such as the day that I am currently having right now.

On these Random Days, which seem to occur more frequently than not, I am overwhelmed by a “mysterious something” that immerses, envelopes, consumes my heart. On one hand, this something can accurately be described as fuzzy and warm, mushy and bubbly, and quite probably pink. But what absolutely baffles me is how this seemingly fuzzy, warm, mushy (probably pink) bubbly something (are you still with me?) has the capacity to hit me like a bus, quite literally bringing tears to my eyes. It’s like a tidal wave, it crashes into every part of me until I am absolutely sure that I have drowned in it.

Drowned, and yet, not dead.

In fact, so much more alive.

This something doesn’t have a name. I cannot name it, although I have tried.

It is…

…the urge to hug people.

To hug absolutely every soul on this planet. The kind of hug that people remember, those tight ones, the squeeze-ie ones that whisper “I really do care about you” without whispering at all. I have come to call such days “I-want-to-hug-the-world” days. But I suspect, due to the ever-increasing frequency of these days, that I am becoming a “I-want-to-hug-the-world” person.

I work at a hotel. I’m surrounded by people all day. I work with a diverse team, and have gotten to know them on a personal level.

I wish I could hug them. Every. Single. One.

From our biggest teddy-bear of a waiter

to the timid housekeeper with the wide eyes

to our busy managers trapped up behind their desks

to our sweetest barmen with their naughty smiles

to the singing chef filling the food with cheer

to the office ladies talking nonsense to pass the time (and working very hard).

Some people are pregnant with new life;

Some are facing death in their family;

Some are hiding sad secrets behind their eyes;

Most of them laugh every day, regardless of their lives.

I am inspired by them.

But mostly I just love them.

And I want to hug them. So badly.

So, dear World, if I start to jitter and twitch, if I grin like a psychotic fool, if I start giggling through clenched teeth… this is just the picture of desperate self-restraint and as close to composure as I can come. For inside, I am tackling you with a violently-lovable embrace, I am crushing you with my whole heart, I am pouring out the tidal wave of this “something” that’s drowned me to death and then filled me to overflowing with life.

It can only be Jesus. I, alone, am not capable of such Love.

I am reminded of a gorgeous song, accompanied by an even more gorgeous music video. “Everyday”, by the awesome Dave Matthews Band, came out many years ago… but this will never grow old.Love never expires.

Hugs to you Beautiful People of this Planet! 

Whoever Declares Openly...

The following story was found on www.persecution.com, a website dedicated to the report of and ministry to countries still faced with persecution against Christianity. More stories like this can be found on Persecution.com, and on www.jesusfreaks.net. The Jesus Freaks books are a dcTalk initiative, amazing books dedicated to the martyrdom of many who have given their lives for their love of Jesus. 

"Whoever declares openly—speaking out freely—and confesses that he is My worshipper and acknowledges Me before men, the Son of man also will declare and confess and acknowledge him before the angels of God."~Jesus (Luke 12 vs 8)

Ribur was beaten and locked in jail for 60 days because she talked about Jesus.

Ribur grew up in a Christian family in Indonesia, and during high school she became interested in mission work. After studying for five years in a Bible school, she joined a community-development group that was teaching agricultural methods to villagers in Aceh, located in the far north of Indonesia’s most western island, Sumatra. Teaching agricultural methods, such as organic farming and livestock breeding, gave the team an opportunity to hear about people’s lives and share their Christian faith if asked.

Ribur soon started a small Bible study in a nearby village, meeting weekly with a family of believers and reaching out to the Muslim community as well. She and a friend from the development group, Roy, began speaking with a woman in the community named Maria. They visited her on a Monday and returned to see her the next day. Maria was ill, but they spent a little time sharing about Christ. Maria then appeared to pray and ask Christ into her life.

On the third day, Ribur and Roy went back to check on Maria. A young man waiting outside talked to Roy while Ribur went inside the house to find Maria. As soon as Ribur arrived, Maria excused herself and said she had to go somewhere. Suddenly, the young man speaking with Roy punched him, and a crowd of neighbors gathered.

Someone grabbed Ribur by her headscarf and hair, and the crowd began beating her. The crowd then forced the two Christians to walk to the village leader, lashing them with a cattle whip as they walked. When they arrived, an official accused them, saying, “Why did you bring Jesus to Aceh?” As Ribur began to answer, she was struck again.

The accusatory questions and beatings continued for 45 minutes. Ribur prayed that the Holy Spirit would give her the strength to stand strong and testify to the truth. Her face was bruised, and the inside of her mouth was bleeding. One person had used a stapler to beat her in the head. Roy was also bruised. Eventually the local police came and detained them. They then drove them to the provincial capital, more than an hour away.

They arrived at 8 p.m., and the police questioned Roy and Ribur until 3 a.m., accusing them of blaspheming Islam. “I wasn’t frightened,” Ribur said, “because I had already been beaten in the other office. Also, the Bible says you will have persecution.”

“Why were you sharing about Jesus?” the officers asked.

“Jesus is for all people,” Ribur said.

“What materials did you bring?”

“Just a Bible,” she replied.

“Have you read the Quran?”

“Yes, but not too deeply,” she said.

“Why did you share about Jesus?”

“Jesus wants everyone to know about him,” she said.

Roy and Ribur were arrested on May 29, 2012, and three days later were charged with abusing Islam so that police could continue to hold them. The police seemed to be searching for evidence.

Ribur was alone during the 60 days she spent in jail. She was the only woman in the women’s cell, and she used the time to read the Bible and pray. No one bothered her, but one of the guards told her it was the first time they had seen how a Christian prayed and read.

“Prison was a learning process for me,” she said.

Ribur was released after two months. Police could find no evidence against her and Roy, so they had to let them go. “After I was released, I felt that the same God who helped me in the prison was helping me still,” said Ribur.

The group’s work in Aceh has stopped for now. Ribur continues to help at her local church, and she dreams of planting churches in Sumatra.

Persecution is still real and tragic, and those faced with the daily challenge of faith need your prayers. Next time you find yourself able to openly declare worship to our God, please remember in prayer those who risk their lives to do so.

You can find this article, and others like it, at Above The Flame. Check out the Above the Flame Facebook page HERE. 

Destroying Your Enemies

Martin Luther King said:

“Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it.” 

"I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."

Have you ever hated someone? I have. 

I could not go a day without seething inwardly about that person, my blood pressure sky-rocketing at their name, my heart burning in the acid of bitterness. My thoughts were a jumbled mess of snide inner remarks, dark imaginings of what I could say to hurt them, what I could do to prove that they were wrong. Then they'd see; yes, then they'd be sorry. 

This person hurt me once. But my choice to hate them hurt myself more - far more - and repeatedly, over and over again. Each bitter thought, like a vial of poison to my own spirit, killing me, turning me into an aged, empty soul, void of compassion and kindness. My inner world lacked beauty altogether, being gobbled up by the ugliness of Hate. I lost myself. Do I really want to be this??

HATE KILLS.

You can choose to love. 

There is nothing elaborate or difficult about love - don't let that be your excuse, it's a feeble one, and I'm not going to buy it. As hard as loving an enemy can seem to be, Love is actually undeniably simple:

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
LOVE NEVER FAILS. 
(1 Corinthians 13) 

We've been given an actual step-by-step guide to love, and it is so easy to follow. The thoughts in 1 Corinthians 13 can be summed up and applied in any way imaginable...
When that person keeps you waiting, take a deep breath (not a huffy sigh!) and be gentle.
Compliment them, and enjoy their surprised reaction. 
Look into their eyes when speaking to them. 
Smile. 
Buy them a cup of coffee, or a treat, no strings attached. 
Stand up for them when you know it's right.
Don't count their mistakes - forgive, and never recall their faults... ever again. 
Start fresh every day.
Express sincere happiness for them, when something works out for them. 
Hug them. A genuine (even awkward) hug can melt layers of hatred in an instant. 

If you dare to love like this, you will experience the most remarkable thing: you will find yourself unable to hate. You see, hate is not about the other person, or "wrongs" that they've done to you. Hate is about you. When you choose to Love like this, nothing in the other person changes. YOU CHANGE. Love lights your inner world, bringing with it forgiveness, compassion and understanding, and an abundant supply of more love to dish out. Do I really want to be this?? YES!

Abraham Lincoln couldn't have said it better when he mused: "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"

Will you step up to this challenge:
Destroy your enemy today.
Take no prisoners, annihilate them.
Be merciless with your mercy, hold nothing back.
Gun them down with love.

You can find this article, and others like it, at Above The Flame. Check out the Above the Flame Facebook page HERE. 

TODAY

Feeling a bit rattled this morning. Was stuck in slow-moving traffic on my way to work which, as it turns out, was the result of a hit and run. Some poor dude seems to have been hit on the shoulder of the road, lying twisted in the dirt and bleeding. What a disturbing sight. It must have just happened, because there were no emergency vehicles on the scene, and one police car was just arriving.

There was a handful of people standing around. Just standing around, I couldn’t understand it. Why weren’t they helping him? Why weren’t they trying to check his vitals? Wasn’t there something they could do? Anything at all? My mind was racing, should I stop? Should I pull over and help? Even now I wonder if I should have, could have… just done something…?

I reasoned with myself that the police would know what to do, and drove on.

In hindsight, I realize that the only real reason why a handful of humans would stand by in idleness is that their fellow human on the road was probably already gone. Already too late.

It occurred to me how upset I was. I, a stranger, shedding a tear in my car for a nameless man on the side of the road. I, with nothing invested in this man, mourning his death. It made me think… How much more must God’s heart ache, break, be ripped open, for this man, whom he created, loved, died for, pursued, obsessed over…? How Big is the Love of Papa, for His Beloved!

Fellow Inhabitants of this beautiful, tragic planet, be grateful for your today, for someone else did not get to have it. Say “I love you” to the people you care about. Do something good. Be kind to people around you. Smile at others. Make today count. 

Lighting the Fire

One recent Friday night, I went out with a group of friends for a "ladies night out".Those who know me well will know that I'm not a late-night party girl. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been clubbing, and for the most part, I'd rather be at home, curled up next to my husband reading a book or writing a blog. Nevertheless, ladies night was most enjoyable, and we had fun. 

On the Saturday morning after Ladies Night, having downed a strong cup of coffee, I had the pleasure of meeting up with someone to discuss a combination of future plans: a concoction of entrepreneurship, ministry, charities, initiatives, business... We talked for hours about what seemed like endless opportunities to reach the world, and I was astounded by the ideas and inspirations that was just pouring out of this person. I couldn’t help but walk away from this meeting with my head swimming in renewed passion for the dreams that God places in His childrens’ hearts, and had to spend that Sunday recovering from it all. And so it was, that I was struck by the enormous contrast between that Friday night and that Saturday.

Friday night was a night of self-indulgence, self-satisfaction, making ourselves feel happy with dancing and laughter. This self-indulgence was... well, just fun. But it left no lasting impression on my soul, no desire to change the world, and it rendered me more than a little bit tired the next day.

Now, I’m not saying that there's no time in life for fun – there definitely should be. But Saturday… Wow, Saturday lit a fire in my soul. I felt so uplifted, inspired, and hungry for more of that. Hungry to spend more time in the presence of people who share this love, this passion, this desperate desire to seek God and His Kingdom.  I felt as though I had been to the most anointed fellowship service, the kind that leaves a permanent mark on your heart. It made me feel alive.

What is this blaze inside me, that when it’s fueled, it threatens to all but consume me?

A fire for the lost.

For the broken and desperate.

For the sick.

And a fire for even those who seem to have it all together, yet deep down, they too wrestle with their own inner demons of discouragement and weariness.

How can I possibly live my life and ignore this burning?

  

Jeremiah 20:9 

But if I say, “I will not mention his word, or speak anymore in his name,” His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

My pastor recently shared the parable that Jesus tells of 10 virgins with oil lamps. (Matthew 25). In those days, the virgins were like the "bridesmaids". They were to help the bride prepare herself for marriage, and would also watch for the Groom's arrival. In this parable, it is said that the Groom was "a long time in coming" - he was delayed. And so the virgins lit their lamps, and waited for him. 

Inevitably, they fell asleep, and in verse 7, when a cry rang out that the Groom was nearby, we are told that "all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps." 

There is so much more that can be said from this parable, but in essence, I feel like I am waking up from a deep slumber. I'm a bit dazed and confused. I don't really know where the Groom is coming from, or where He wants me to be. I only know that He is coming for His Bride - and He wants me to help prepare Her for Him. What a humbling realization. In my heart, I am searching for kindred spirits who are also awakening to the Groom's call on their lives, people like me who long to serve Him. 

That Saturday that I spent in the presence of a fellow visionary, was like a voice ringing in my soul: He is coming! I must rub the sleep from my eyes, and light my lamp. Look for Him, seek His face, and receive His guidance. I don't know where we are going, and if I must be honest, that's an intimidating thought. 

But I have decided to go with Him. 

Will you? Will you allow the flame of God's love for His bride to ignite your insides, and burn so bright and so hot that you can't sleep anymore? 

I thought it fit to share this rocking-awesome track that kinda hit me between the eyes the other day. The words are so fitting, from start to finish, but one part really stands out: 

Come, spark the parts in me that all but died,

Jumpstart my heart, and wake the sleeper inside.

And here is the song for all you rockers out there, hope it inspires you. It's also a seriously awesome video, Fellow Inhabitants...

Ignition - by tobyMac

This article, and many others like it, can be found on the Above The Flame Blog page or Facebook page. Be Blessed. x

The Plans He Has For Me

I sat in church the other night, and I must have suddenly become tired or hungry or something. You see, when I'm tired or hungry, I become a very nasty person - anyone who knows me will testify to this. And as I sat in church, during the minister's sermon, I was just suddenly attacked by a seriously bad attitude.

The minister was giving a message on seeds, good soil, bad soil, birds and weeds - you may be familiar with the parable. But at one point, the minister asked the question, "Do you know what God wants you to do with your life? And are you doing it!?" 

Enter the Bad Attitude: "How should I know?! I don't know what He wants me to do, and I've been asking Him for years!!? How can you ask me that?!" 

Wow. My inner thoughts were like a slap in my own face. I'm quite sure that the Lord didn't fall off His throne in shock - He knows my heart better than I do - but I sure nearly fell off my own chair. Did I just think that?! Why haven't I been struck by lightning yet? 

Having recovered somewhat, I couldn't quite get my mind back on the pastor's sermon, and so I sat and chewed on the question for the remainder of the evening.

I have been feeling for quite some time now that something *B*I*G* is about to happen. In my mind, I see the Lord opening a door that I've dreamed of walking through, a door that I never thought would open for me. A door that I never even knew existed for me! I have no idea what is beyond this elusive door, but when I think of it, I'm filled with anticipation, excitement and gratitude. I can't wait to see how He's going to use me! But then... I get back into my reality, my daily life, and it all seems so... well... mundane. Frustrating. 

For a few months now, I keep being reminded of Joseph and his multi-coloured cloak. He was his father's favourite, and a dreamer. He dreamed of his brothers bowing before him. Then he dreamed of his brothers and his parents bowing before him. He dreamed of being a saviour and a ruler of the people. He knew that, despite being the youngest of 12 brothers, which already made him less significant as far as birthright goes, God had something huge for Him. He dreamed *B*I*G*. 

Ultimately, Joseph's brothers grew to hate him, and his parents rebuked him for his seemingly foolish dreams. He was abused and sold into slavery, and spent the next thirteen years of his life waiting for his dreams to materialize. Thirteen years! I'm quite certain that during those thirteen years of slavery, false accusations and imprisonment, Joseph must have grumbled about his destiny from time to time. Just the same way my heart did in church the other night. 

You see, I think that deep down I'm just afraid that my dreams are just that: dreams. And that I really will just live an insignificant life, leaving no legacy, making no footprint on this planet, having touched no lives, and perhaps scraping into Heaven by the skin of my teeth at the end of a very mundane existence. And that is why the pastor's question hit such a nerve last night: Do you know what God wants you to do, and are you doing it? 

Jeremiah 29v 11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 YOU WILL SEEK ME and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

People usually stop reading at verse 11, because all on it's own, that is such a "feel-good" verse. You don't really want to risk spoiling it by reading anything further. And yet, the first time that I read verses 12 and 13, I was absolutely floored. And then verse 14: "I will be found by you". WOW.

The minister's question made me uncomfortable, because I don't know what the Lord has planned for me, and until He chooses to reveal it to me, I am to wait, as Joseph waited. Thirteen years? Who knows. But what I do know is that the only way I will ever see my dreams come to pass is to look into His Face. It's extraordinary that He asks nothing more from us. No rituals. No demands. No animal sacrifices. Just for us to get to know Him. 

Seek My face. I will set you free. 

Seek My face. I will restore you.

Seek My face. I will make you a conqueror. 

Seek My face. I will unfold plans that you can only dream of. 

Seek Me. I will be found by you. 

And this is where it hit me: DO I know what God wants me to do? YES! Could it be that my ultimate calling in this life is to simply seek Father's face, and get to know Him? Everything else is secondary, and any *B*I*G* plans that come to pass are only the by-product of my relationship with the Almighty. That really simplifies things and takes the pressure off me, trying so hard to figure out what the Lord has in mind for me... as if I could dare read the mind of God.

It probably isn't the kind of answer that our minister was looking for, when he asked that thought-provoking question, but if I think about it: what an honour. If I spent the next thirteen years looking into His Face, getting to know Him, it could be the most adventurous, wonderful thirteen years of my life

Psalm 20v5:

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.

This article, and many others like it, can be found on the Above The Flame Blog page or Facebook page. Be Blessed. x

Jonathan David and Melissa Helser Band

This "band" visited our church last week - I put the word band in inverted comma's, because they are so much more than just that: They are carriers of God's revelation. Revelation of His immense, heartbreaking Love, of His everlasting Goodness and Mercy... No words can describe the wonderful tidal wave of worship that Jonathan and Melissa Helser carry with them wherever they raise their music. 


I thought I'd share some words of theirs, which I've taken from Jonathan David Helser's blog - This is what the Lord whispered to Jonathan in a moment of worship. What a beautiful thought. What a beautiful knowledge. God is up to something. I just know it. 

Look at the nations

I'm gonna do something 

Great in your days

You wouldn't believe it

Even if I told you

Watch and be amazed

I want these dreams, Even more than you

Faith is when, you believe that I do

In these days, you will say, I didn't know God could be so good

Go ahead and try Me

You can ask

For anything you want

But I promise 

That I am gonna

Give you more than you ever thought

In these days, you will say, I didn't know God could be so good

-Jonathan David Helser

 - Check out Jonathan and Melissa's website for more info on their visions and ministry -

Open Heart Surgery

Dear Lord, 


I've been asking You to change me, from the inside, and make me into the person that You created me to be. I've been asking You to use me, to make a difference in my little world. 


Last night when I was praying, You laid on my heart to contact someone that I haven't spoken to in a long time. Someone that hurt me, and ultimately, someone that I also hurt in return. You laid on my heart to apologize for my part of the heartache, and to make things right. 


So I did just that, I contacted them, and You gave me the words when I didn't know what to say. Papa, I didn't expect a warm reception of my apology, but I had hoped that my words would fall on a softer heart. Instead, the response was cutting. 


Father, was I not being obedient to You? Did I hear You right? Did You really want me to dredge up the past and really deal with it - I thought we were doing quite well, just burying it until it didn't ache anymore. Deep down, I know it was the right thing. Sometimes, doing the right thing is painful. It can be humbling. Sometimes it even seems to backfire at the time.


My only reward, I guess, is in knowing that I've done everything that You wanted of me. Wow, it was more than a bit uncomfortable, and so humbling that it hurt. But We did it, and I'm glad. That's more than enough reward for me. 


Lord, this is one burnt bridge that may never be re-built. It is my heartfelt cry to You that You will build ten bridges for every broken one, and that someone, somewhere, will be there for this person where I failed them so long ago. 




Matt 5.46 "If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that."

Translation: If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?

As it turns out, being changed from the inside requires some open-heart surgery... but it sure does feel good. 

Shut Up Little Voice, I'm Human!

Psalm 32v10: He that trusts in the Lord, mercy shall surround him…

At this point in my life, there are some things that hurt. Some things that I can’t make happen by myself, and things that I have no choice but to trust the Almighty with. And I do, I really do. I’m not obsessing over these things, and I’m doing my utmost with the wonderful life that I have before me right now.

But I can’t help it if sometimes life gets me down. I’m feeling low this morning. I’m all too aware today of the things I can’t control, things that I’m praying for breakthrough on, things that I know only God Himself can do. My breakthrough isn’t here yet, and I keep hoping it will be soon. I just keep hoping, trusting. Still, my heart is sad.

Why is it then that I have this mean little voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m never going to succeed, because I’m not trusting the Lord. Telling me that I should be displaying my trust in a show of continual happiness and peace. If I were truly placing my trust in the Lord, I would not be feeling this way, right?

I’m not happy right at this moment!

And there are things that I don’t have peace about within my heart!

But I DO trust my Father to care for me. You stupid little voice, how dare you tell me how to feel!?

Man I am so tired of feeling bad for not fitting the mould. I’m breaking free of this. I’m going to have bad days, world, so just deal with it. Being God’s child doesn’t make me impermeable to pain, it doesn’t make me a doormat to be walked over, and it doesn’t give me a happy mask to wear every day.

Jesus wept.

Jesus challenged people over things that were worth the argument.

Jesus pushed tables over, with a whip in his Hand, in an outrage over something that He was righteously indignant over. How I’d love to see His face, red with anger, eyes glittering with passion!

So if I’m not feeling 100% today, I know my Papa in heaven doesn’t mind. He knows I’m human, and that I can’t see the bigger picture, and He understands that it’s frustrating to wait around, blindfolded about the future and hurting about the present.

He’s more Gracious than you, little voice, so take your guilt trip somewhere else.

Forgiven

When I was a teenager, a friend and personal mentor of mine showed me this picture. It has haunted me ever since - it did something to me. 


It is only now, more than ten years down the line, and I have finally managed to track down the artist, Mr. Thomas Blackshear, and the name of the painting, "Forgiven".


I don't need to say much more - this beautiful canvas speaks for itself. 

Peace Out.

RockaBye

I'm feeling low today. I don't usually like to admit it - I'm one for the philosophy that if you don't have anything positive to say, don't say anything at all. But I need to say it, for my own sanity. 

I like to try keep a smile on my dial and a friendly face for the people around me, but right now I really do want to be morose. I want complaint about how unkind life is to some people that I love. I want to be angry about their pain, and I also want to be angry about some of my own pain. I want to grieve about my shortcomings in life that at times never cease to haunt me. I need to be real today, and be sad about a beggar on the street and a dog dying. 

I'm usually confronted with immense guilt at such feelings, being prompted by some deep-set obligation within me to 'always be happy', otherwise I may seem ungrateful. But I was lying here a moment ago, and it occurred to me that Jesus Himself wasn't always pleasant. He got angry, and charged into the temple with whips and a temper. He got confrontational, and called a group of people a 'brood of vipers'. He was deeply pained at the death of His friend Lazarus, and He cried in anguish in the garden before his crucifixion. 

I find comfort in knowing that the most legendary Man who walked this planet was assaulted with the same emotions that I am. And so, for the first time in I don't know how long, I am going to guiltlessly admit that I am depressed. I have had a heavy heart hanging in my chest for a few weeks, and I find it remarkable that I keep hearing that old song by Shawn Mullins, "Everything is going to be all right".. Maybe that legendary Man is just trying to help me hold my head up with this lovely tune, I don't know.

RockaBye - Shawn Mullins

Tomorrow morning I will get up and put a smile on, and try to be brave. For now though, I hope it's all right that I am as I am.