Lunch Thoughts: Angels...

Filled with a sense of wonder today, and for some odd reason, just a knowledge that we are spiritual. And we live in a spiritual realm, as much as we live in the physical.

I was trying to leave work yesterday, and for some reason, my brain was just a scrambled mess. I picked up one bag, and realized I hadn’t packed something. Put it down. Picked up the wrong thing. Put it down. Grabbed my keys and fidgeted for a second, put my keys down, grabbed another bag, and struggled with a zip. Realized the thing I wanted to pack was underneath this bag. Fumbled with the bag and the thing and the blasted thing wouldn’t fit into the bag. Unpacked the whole bag and re-packed it. Got the thing to fit. Fidgeted with my keys and carried on packing various things in various bags. Stopped to apply some lip balm and grab a mint. I gave an exasperated sigh at my ditzy behaviour, scratched my head and finally piled my bags over my shoulder.

Got to my car and received a text message. Took a minute to reply. Finally! I got going.

On my way home, my Dad called to tell me to avoid a portion of the highway because of an enormous and tragic accident that had literally just happened… I was about 2 minutes from the accident site.

This morning I was listening to a sermon where the pastor was talking about his experience with angels, having encountered more than a few in his life. He spoke about he had seen his prayers move angels – that he would speak the word of God, and angels would begin flurrying about carrying out God’s will.

Any funny enough, I’m sitting having lunch and lo and behold my iPod plays a song called “Fly”, by JasonUpton, which allegedly holds the recording of an angel singing toward the end of the song. (I’m a believer)

And so, I am filled with a sense of wonder, because it suddenly occurs to me that I was running late yesterday because that was God’s will. A chill runs over me, as I think about what could have happened, had I left on time and very possibly been involved in that high-speed horrific accident. My card isn’t up yet, and there are angels in the spiritual world, charging back and forth, to and fro, obediently and fervently obeying the God that Loves us, and making it their business to keep me alive.

Wow. Really? Me?

I’m not an angel-chaser, but it is pretty cool to be reminded that I serve the God who charges angel armies in my favour. What shall I fear? 

Indeed, what shall I fear?

P.S. In the video I shared, the angel is heard clearly at 5 minutes 50 seconds - sound technicians were unable to find the source of this beautiful tenor / soprano voice, as it came from Jason Upton's mic. A young boy in the audience spoke to a sound technician during the performance, claiming to have seen a very large man appear behind Jason Upton during the course of this lovely song. 
Believe it, don't believe it. Only God knows.

When ...it happens.

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you became the victim of a smash-and-grab, or a burglary, or a mugging...? Well I can tell you: Nothing. I did nothing. 
I didn't chase the perpetrator down the road with the intention of running him over and reclaiming my bag. Tempting, but I was stuck in traffic. I didn't fall to pieces and spend an hour crying on the side of the road. I just... went home like nothing happened.

I came to a traffic light on Friday evening, 20h30, at a traffic-congested, but dark intersection. In the corner of my eye a figure rushed to my car passenger window, shattered my passenger window, grabbed my bag from the car floor and ran off into the night. It happened in about four seconds. They say that time slows down when you fear for your life... I'm not so sure, but you do remember every terrible moment in detail. 

My whole body went numb with fear and adrenaline except for a weird, hot rush of pins and needles that pulsed into my hands and feet. And even though the perpetrator was on the run with me staring in horror at his back as he fled like a coward, I was afraid of him. I am afraid of him. There was nothing I could do. I simply put my foot on the accelerator, and got home as fast as I could. 

What bugs me is this feeling of guilt that I have. The inner argument that has been going on in my head ever since Friday, as that awful man looms outside the passenger window of my mind, his arm raise to shatter my internal safe haven...

I shouldn't have been out visiting my friends at night alone. 
But I left early, it wasn't that late? 
Was it? 
Oh no, I'm often out at night. How am I going to live?
I'll have to be a hermit. I'll have to quit half my commitments in Winter. The sun sets too early. 
I can't, I can't! I have to live!
No. I have to stay alive. 
I shouldn't have been driving that road. 
But I drive that road every day, often after dark.
It's a dark road you idiot.
But I thought it was the safest at the time. I even thought about it before I left. It has the least traffic lights and stops, and it's the fastest way home. Only 2 traffic lights, in fact, and a lovely highway. 
There are police patrolling that road constantly.
It's a dodgy road and you know it. 
I disagree. The other routes have just as many real threats, and more can go wrong on the other roads. Drunkards use the other route on Friday nights, and it's riddled with dodgy traffic lights. 
Suit yourself. Idiot. 
I should have had my phone in my pocket, not my bag.
I should have been locking my bag in my boot.
Really? I should spend an additional 30 seconds outside my car, in an open parking lot, putting my bag in my boot? 
Well it should have been behind my seat at least, not on the passenger floor.
I didn't think anyone would be able (or brave enough) to reach the passenger floor in such a rush. 
Exactly, I didn't think. I was arrogant enough to believe that I'm immune to these things. 
Oh stop it!
I should have kept a peppergun in my car, just in case. 
But then what? I gas someone else and myself in an enclosed vehicle? 
That's a good point. And he was gone in 4 seconds, like we said. That would mean I'd gas myself alone. 
Still. A peppergun might have made me feel better. 
Or worse. 
I should have..
I should have..
I should have...

My mind is racing with all these thoughts of self-blame and guilt and I suddenly just feel really ticked off. Wait a friggin minute here...! I didn't do anything wrong! I am a careful and vigilant person. If anything, I'm a bit too nice and naive, but I'm not an idiot. I did not 'deserve' this out of my own carelessness. It happened. And please forgive my use of this phrase but "Shit happens". 

And it did happen. So what now? It was such a petty crime, so not-a-big-deal. I am so grateful to be safe and un-harmed, unlike so may others. And yet... a part of me is stuck there, on that corner. I'm behind a truck and in front of a string of other cars. A man is crashing a sharp object into my car window and my mind is screaming out..

Is this it? 
Is he going to hijack me? 
What does he want?
Will he leave me here?
Will he force me to go with him?
Will he let me live?
Is this the end...???

I am still afraid, looking over my shoulder. My sense of freedom, humour and enjoyment of life is shivering in the corner of my mind, asking if it's safe to come out yet. In time, it will be ok. But for now, I have to clutch onto one thing to help me feel in control, and that is the fact that it was out of my control. I am not to blame. For that reason, I refuse to discuss the matter with anyone any further. I refuse to have people carelessly speculating on what I should have done, what I could have done, what I might have done, if I'd done it different, what I could have decided, should I decide I should have done it different....

As if I am somehow to blame.

No. No more. It happened. And that's it.

Start Counting...

As long as you are always looking back at the way things used to be, you will never be able to appreciate the way things are now. This is not because what you used to have is any better than what you have now, but simply because your head is quite literally facing the wrong way. 
You cannot possibly see all you have in front of you, when your eyes are constantly averted over your shoulder.

Looking back kills gratitude.

Let Go.

Take a look around.

And start counting.

You will find your blessings gradually become un-countable. 

Where are you, Fellow Inhabitants of this Planet?

Living in the past…?

Or immersing yourself in the present…? 

Lighting the Fire

One recent Friday night, I went out with a group of friends for a "ladies night out".Those who know me well will know that I'm not a late-night party girl. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been clubbing, and for the most part, I'd rather be at home, curled up next to my husband reading a book or writing a blog. Nevertheless, ladies night was most enjoyable, and we had fun. 

On the Saturday morning after Ladies Night, having downed a strong cup of coffee, I had the pleasure of meeting up with someone to discuss a combination of future plans: a concoction of entrepreneurship, ministry, charities, initiatives, business... We talked for hours about what seemed like endless opportunities to reach the world, and I was astounded by the ideas and inspirations that was just pouring out of this person. I couldn’t help but walk away from this meeting with my head swimming in renewed passion for the dreams that God places in His childrens’ hearts, and had to spend that Sunday recovering from it all. And so it was, that I was struck by the enormous contrast between that Friday night and that Saturday.

Friday night was a night of self-indulgence, self-satisfaction, making ourselves feel happy with dancing and laughter. This self-indulgence was... well, just fun. But it left no lasting impression on my soul, no desire to change the world, and it rendered me more than a little bit tired the next day.

Now, I’m not saying that there's no time in life for fun – there definitely should be. But Saturday… Wow, Saturday lit a fire in my soul. I felt so uplifted, inspired, and hungry for more of that. Hungry to spend more time in the presence of people who share this love, this passion, this desperate desire to seek God and His Kingdom.  I felt as though I had been to the most anointed fellowship service, the kind that leaves a permanent mark on your heart. It made me feel alive.

What is this blaze inside me, that when it’s fueled, it threatens to all but consume me?

A fire for the lost.

For the broken and desperate.

For the sick.

And a fire for even those who seem to have it all together, yet deep down, they too wrestle with their own inner demons of discouragement and weariness.

How can I possibly live my life and ignore this burning?

  

Jeremiah 20:9 

But if I say, “I will not mention his word, or speak anymore in his name,” His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

My pastor recently shared the parable that Jesus tells of 10 virgins with oil lamps. (Matthew 25). In those days, the virgins were like the "bridesmaids". They were to help the bride prepare herself for marriage, and would also watch for the Groom's arrival. In this parable, it is said that the Groom was "a long time in coming" - he was delayed. And so the virgins lit their lamps, and waited for him. 

Inevitably, they fell asleep, and in verse 7, when a cry rang out that the Groom was nearby, we are told that "all the virgins woke up and trimmed their lamps." 

There is so much more that can be said from this parable, but in essence, I feel like I am waking up from a deep slumber. I'm a bit dazed and confused. I don't really know where the Groom is coming from, or where He wants me to be. I only know that He is coming for His Bride - and He wants me to help prepare Her for Him. What a humbling realization. In my heart, I am searching for kindred spirits who are also awakening to the Groom's call on their lives, people like me who long to serve Him. 

That Saturday that I spent in the presence of a fellow visionary, was like a voice ringing in my soul: He is coming! I must rub the sleep from my eyes, and light my lamp. Look for Him, seek His face, and receive His guidance. I don't know where we are going, and if I must be honest, that's an intimidating thought. 

But I have decided to go with Him. 

Will you? Will you allow the flame of God's love for His bride to ignite your insides, and burn so bright and so hot that you can't sleep anymore? 

I thought it fit to share this rocking-awesome track that kinda hit me between the eyes the other day. The words are so fitting, from start to finish, but one part really stands out: 

Come, spark the parts in me that all but died,

Jumpstart my heart, and wake the sleeper inside.

And here is the song for all you rockers out there, hope it inspires you. It's also a seriously awesome video, Fellow Inhabitants...

Ignition - by tobyMac

This article, and many others like it, can be found on the Above The Flame Blog page or Facebook page. Be Blessed. x

Jonathan David and Melissa Helser Band

This "band" visited our church last week - I put the word band in inverted comma's, because they are so much more than just that: They are carriers of God's revelation. Revelation of His immense, heartbreaking Love, of His everlasting Goodness and Mercy... No words can describe the wonderful tidal wave of worship that Jonathan and Melissa Helser carry with them wherever they raise their music. 


I thought I'd share some words of theirs, which I've taken from Jonathan David Helser's blog - This is what the Lord whispered to Jonathan in a moment of worship. What a beautiful thought. What a beautiful knowledge. God is up to something. I just know it. 

Look at the nations

I'm gonna do something 

Great in your days

You wouldn't believe it

Even if I told you

Watch and be amazed

I want these dreams, Even more than you

Faith is when, you believe that I do

In these days, you will say, I didn't know God could be so good

Go ahead and try Me

You can ask

For anything you want

But I promise 

That I am gonna

Give you more than you ever thought

In these days, you will say, I didn't know God could be so good

-Jonathan David Helser

 - Check out Jonathan and Melissa's website for more info on their visions and ministry -

The Thing About Being an Aunty

So it's not really "news", especially for those that know me personally, but I am about to become an Aunt. My beloved big brother and his beautiful wife will be welcoming their firstborn into this enormous world in just two short weeks. Or sooner, if baby has anything to say about it. What a silly comment, considering that newborns (unborns, especially) don't say much in the first place. Never mind, you know what I mean. 


In any case, I am about to become a very proud, glowing Aunt of a perfect little boy. Of course, I've had a good seven-or-so months to ponder this new phase of life, and am pleased to announce that not only am I going to glow and be proud, but I am also going to be the very best Aunt that this world has to offer. 


The thing about being an Aunt is that, much like the child's grandparents, you get to indulge the child without the drag of being a disciplinarian. The difference is that while Grandparents are utterly and endlessly lovable to their grandchildren, Aunties and Uncles are ultra-cool and super-awesome... up until the child reaches about twelve years old. At which point he discovers a mind of his own, and at which point he will begin to disown his family one by one. (Except the Grandparents, of course) 


And so, I've been working on my game plan, on how I'm going to be the best Aunt on the planet, and hopefully prolong my state of awesomeness by a few years perhaps. 


For example, Grandparents give their grandchildren cake and marshmallows and Smarties, which is all very well as far as good old-fashioned sugar highs go. However, I plan on giving him Dracula-teeth-sweets and sour worms. Not only that, but I will ensure that I, too, have some vampire-teeth of my very own, and together we will wreak havoc and terror on the world with our terrifying terribleness. 

I am also not only going to give him his favourite cookies, but we will actually make his favourite cookies, in my very own kitchen. I will ensure that by the end of the exercise, he is covered head to toe with flour and sugar, and giggling like a girl at the silliness of it all. 


I then plan on carrying this giggling sack of potatoes over my shoulder and tossing him into a warm bath filled with bubbles, rubber ducks, and action men, and letting him play until his hands and feet are pruned beyond recognition. We will make soap-bubbles the way my Nana used to make for me. Bath times will be... Epic. 


Judging by the sweets and cookies, you may think I'm going to fatten this child up good and proper, right? No, no, of course not. I'm also going to set him free in our garden. I'll be the Aunt that kicks off my shoes and runs with him. We won't run anywhere in particular, we'll just run and run, until the great, big imagination in that adorable little head of his comes up with some kind of game to be incorporated into our run. And we'll dig up worms, lots of them, into wriggling piles of fun and awfulness. 

And so it goes on... All I want to do is give this little boy as many reasons as possible to love living in this great big world. In light of all that parents do to nurture, protect and love their children, it's the very least that any Aunt can do. 


So, yes. It is possible that I will indeed be the best Aunt ever. Or come darn close in trying. 

Sharing is Caring!

Hi all! 


I'd like to re-direct you to a blog that I follow - the blogger, a young lady who I care about dearly, shared a really great quote this weekend, I just have to share it. 


Be inspired!


Have a great week, fellow inhabitants of this planet!


Peace out.

Midnight ponderings about beauty and war

It's almost that time of year... the time where much of the world unites to commemorate the horrendous attacks on the Twin Towers on 9/11. I know, I know, this subject has become somewhat taboo over time, but I was watching a few minutes of a National Geographic documentary on the event, and I can't help myself. I know there must be millions of 9/11 blogs out there, all lamenting this same thing: how horrific and cruel that day was to the thousands of people who lost their lives, and their loved ones. This should never be taboo.

After a few minutes of National Geographic's disturbing documentary, I decided to retire to bed. As you can tell, I can't sleep, because here I am, lamenting about 9/11, like a million other people. Maybe nothing will ever erase this day from those of us who remember it, or remove the haunting feeling of loss - loss of life, loss of innocence, loss of safety. But I know that what I really need tonight, to get to sleep, is to know that beauty still exists. To know that all over this planet, there are still beautiful things among all the many atrocities.

To know that that there is still love...

And peace...

And innocence...

Unmarred beauty...

Commitment...

Laughter...

Small blessings...

And dreams...

And of course, beautiful music. Daniel Bedingfield sings one of my all-time favourite songs, Honest Questions, which without fail brings a tear to my eye.


Yes. There is still beauty in this world. While remembering the tragedy of 9/11 ten years ago, may you rest assure that all over this wondrous world, there is still beauty!

x Sleep tight x

Tribute

It's been a rough week, this last week. It feels like every task on my plate is suddenly due, like a bowl full of fruit that all goes ripe at once. And I'm the one playing 'chubby bunny' with it all, trying to stuff it all in before the proverbial poo hits the fan. 


I pulled a few hours over the weekend, and have worked 10-12 hour days. I've been tired and grouchy, emotional, and high on exhaustion. I've been a bitch to some, and have been extra-kind to some others. I've rolled my eyes at the mention of some names. Yep. It's been a rough week. 


And in the past few days, I have encountered... kindness. From someone I haven't paid attention to, I received compassion. From the one I was bitchy too in a moment of weariness, concern for my health. A helping hand from someone as busy and overwhelmed as myself.  A knowing smile from someone across the room, while I roll my eyes at the mention of another name. An encouraging pat on the back from one, a funny story from another, a moment of light-hearted playfulness.


Surely the kindness was there before, and I have just been a bit blind to it...? What NICE people I am surrounded by. I may have had a rough week, but my life is so much more colourful for better knowing the beautiful people around me. 


Blessed, grateful and overtired! 


Peace out!