Rant of the Day: Existence Itself

Mundane. Mundane. It is all so mundane. 


We work to survive, only to survive so that we can work to survive. Fingers to the bone, we work, when do we get to live?
Fight, fight, we fight to have a place on this earth. Fight to pay our bonds, fight to pay for fuel to get to work to survive. Fight to eat, and fight to breathe, fight to wake up every morning. Fight, fight, I'm so tired of fighting. I just want to have the strength to help someone else for a change. 


There must be more than this.
There must be more! 


Ecclesiastes 1 vs 2
'Meaningless! Meaningless!' says the Teacher. 
'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.'


So I dream. I dream of more. 
More time. 
More people. 
More ministry.
More peace.
More dreams. 


I dream of making dreams happen. I dream of leaving a footprint on this planet. Not a carbon footprint, a good footprint. 


Exodus 14 vs 14
The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.


And then, when my dreams seem so far away, so unreachable, almost implausible... I feel frustrated, and I write depressing blogs that rant about the meaninglessness of every day existence. 


Existence, not life. 


Life is beautiful. 


Psalm 23 vs 5-6
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil; 
My cup runs over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me (pursue, chase, hunt me down)
all the days of my life (until the very last day, the day I die).
Forever. (Forever. And ever. Even after I die. Yes, even then.)


Where am I going? 
I don't know. 
But don't count me out yet fellow inhabitants of this planet, because I have a dream.

The Plans He Has For Me

I sat in church the other night, and I must have suddenly become tired or hungry or something. You see, when I'm tired or hungry, I become a very nasty person - anyone who knows me will testify to this. And as I sat in church, during the minister's sermon, I was just suddenly attacked by a seriously bad attitude.

The minister was giving a message on seeds, good soil, bad soil, birds and weeds - you may be familiar with the parable. But at one point, the minister asked the question, "Do you know what God wants you to do with your life? And are you doing it!?" 

Enter the Bad Attitude: "How should I know?! I don't know what He wants me to do, and I've been asking Him for years!!? How can you ask me that?!" 

Wow. My inner thoughts were like a slap in my own face. I'm quite sure that the Lord didn't fall off His throne in shock - He knows my heart better than I do - but I sure nearly fell off my own chair. Did I just think that?! Why haven't I been struck by lightning yet? 

Having recovered somewhat, I couldn't quite get my mind back on the pastor's sermon, and so I sat and chewed on the question for the remainder of the evening.

I have been feeling for quite some time now that something *B*I*G* is about to happen. In my mind, I see the Lord opening a door that I've dreamed of walking through, a door that I never thought would open for me. A door that I never even knew existed for me! I have no idea what is beyond this elusive door, but when I think of it, I'm filled with anticipation, excitement and gratitude. I can't wait to see how He's going to use me! But then... I get back into my reality, my daily life, and it all seems so... well... mundane. Frustrating. 

For a few months now, I keep being reminded of Joseph and his multi-coloured cloak. He was his father's favourite, and a dreamer. He dreamed of his brothers bowing before him. Then he dreamed of his brothers and his parents bowing before him. He dreamed of being a saviour and a ruler of the people. He knew that, despite being the youngest of 12 brothers, which already made him less significant as far as birthright goes, God had something huge for Him. He dreamed *B*I*G*. 

Ultimately, Joseph's brothers grew to hate him, and his parents rebuked him for his seemingly foolish dreams. He was abused and sold into slavery, and spent the next thirteen years of his life waiting for his dreams to materialize. Thirteen years! I'm quite certain that during those thirteen years of slavery, false accusations and imprisonment, Joseph must have grumbled about his destiny from time to time. Just the same way my heart did in church the other night. 

You see, I think that deep down I'm just afraid that my dreams are just that: dreams. And that I really will just live an insignificant life, leaving no legacy, making no footprint on this planet, having touched no lives, and perhaps scraping into Heaven by the skin of my teeth at the end of a very mundane existence. And that is why the pastor's question hit such a nerve last night: Do you know what God wants you to do, and are you doing it? 

Jeremiah 29v 11-14

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 YOU WILL SEEK ME and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

People usually stop reading at verse 11, because all on it's own, that is such a "feel-good" verse. You don't really want to risk spoiling it by reading anything further. And yet, the first time that I read verses 12 and 13, I was absolutely floored. And then verse 14: "I will be found by you". WOW.

The minister's question made me uncomfortable, because I don't know what the Lord has planned for me, and until He chooses to reveal it to me, I am to wait, as Joseph waited. Thirteen years? Who knows. But what I do know is that the only way I will ever see my dreams come to pass is to look into His Face. It's extraordinary that He asks nothing more from us. No rituals. No demands. No animal sacrifices. Just for us to get to know Him. 

Seek My face. I will set you free. 

Seek My face. I will restore you.

Seek My face. I will make you a conqueror. 

Seek My face. I will unfold plans that you can only dream of. 

Seek Me. I will be found by you. 

And this is where it hit me: DO I know what God wants me to do? YES! Could it be that my ultimate calling in this life is to simply seek Father's face, and get to know Him? Everything else is secondary, and any *B*I*G* plans that come to pass are only the by-product of my relationship with the Almighty. That really simplifies things and takes the pressure off me, trying so hard to figure out what the Lord has in mind for me... as if I could dare read the mind of God.

It probably isn't the kind of answer that our minister was looking for, when he asked that thought-provoking question, but if I think about it: what an honour. If I spent the next thirteen years looking into His Face, getting to know Him, it could be the most adventurous, wonderful thirteen years of my life

Psalm 20v5:

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare.

This article, and many others like it, can be found on the Above The Flame Blog page or Facebook page. Be Blessed. x