I've been asking You to change me, from the inside, and make me into the person that You created me to be. I've been asking You to use me, to make a difference in my little world.
Last night when I was praying, You laid on my heart to contact someone that I haven't spoken to in a long time. Someone that hurt me, and ultimately, someone that I also hurt in return. You laid on my heart to apologize for my part of the heartache, and to make things right.
So I did just that, I contacted them, and You gave me the words when I didn't know what to say. Papa, I didn't expect a warm reception of my apology, but I had hoped that my words would fall on a softer heart. Instead, the response was cutting.
Father, was I not being obedient to You? Did I hear You right? Did You really want me to dredge up the past and really deal with it - I thought we were doing quite well, just burying it until it didn't ache anymore. Deep down, I know it was the right thing. Sometimes, doing the right thing is painful. It can be humbling. Sometimes it even seems to backfire at the time.
My only reward, I guess, is in knowing that I've done everything that You wanted of me. Wow, it was more than a bit uncomfortable, and so humbling that it hurt. But We did it, and I'm glad. That's more than enough reward for me.
Lord, this is one burnt bridge that may never be re-built. It is my heartfelt cry to You that You will build ten bridges for every broken one, and that someone, somewhere, will be there for this person where I failed them so long ago.
Matt 5.46 "If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that."
Translation: If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else?
As it turns out, being changed from the inside requires some open-heart surgery... but it sure does feel good.
No comments:
Post a Comment