Spam. We all hate it right? And yet those cheesy chain-mails
keep going around and around and around… I wonder why. I wonder how, if we all truly hate it the way we claim
to do.
The worst kind of spam-mails are the ones that carry with
them the threat of bad luck until the day you die, and in fact bad luck even
after you’re dead, and after your children have grown old and died, and then
maybe some more bad luck after that, if you’re really unlucky… if you don’t forward the mail in
question to at least a million people that you know are going to curse you profusely
for flooding their inbox with heaps of bad luck. I’m not sure what bad luck is
like for dead people, maybe their remains are consumed by a particularly nasty
worm, but for all the chain mail I’ve deleted (after cursing the senders profusely),
I’ve got a lot of it waiting for me in my grave.
I always wonder, why would you send that to me? If you
really believed that this stupid mail was going to bring me, your friend, bad luck, why would you send it
to me?? You’re not a friend, you back-stabber! First sign of impending doom,
and you pass it on to me?! And you’re blind! And stupid! Only blind, stupid
people believe in chain-mail-luck. Did something good happen to you 17 minutes
after sending that mail to 17 people, like it promised you would happen? No??
Imagine that.
I might appreciate the kind of spam-mail that brings a laugh
with it. Some tasteful humour. A funny image. Even an inspiring story. A well
thought-out poem. But the moment I see those famous six words, “If you don’t
pass this on…” I experience a reflex-action that jerks my computer mouse to the
delete button, before I can even think about it any further.
What a waste of bandwidth. What a waste of my time. What a
waste of nasty worms.
End of Personal Rant. *takes a bow*
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