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Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Rant of The Day: For The Ladies


Dear Brand Manufacturer,

When you remove a bra design that you have been manufacturing for years from your range, you are not simply discontinuing a style. You are plunging billions of women across the globe into darkness; ripping the proverbial mat from beneath their staggering feet; pushing them over the edge of a cliff, spinning them into a never-ending void of blackness and uncertainty.

There are those of us who find bra-shopping to be a most loathsome task. Those of us who spent our delicate, teen years struggling to find that perfect fit. Comfort, support, confidence. And finally, at the age of 23 – yes twenty-three! – my twelve-year search was rewarded. And, bless you, dear manufacturer, this bra was kept on the market all this time, ensuring my comfort, support and confidence for a blissful five years. Such was my trust your product that my most recent purchase didn’t even warrant a fitting – I simply walked in, grabbed my size, and walk out. (after paying, of course)

This weekend, I dragged my sorry self out to my nearest Edgars in (slightly desperate) search of one of my beloved undergarments only to find that you have discontinued this particular item, and all similar items, replacing your entire range with what I can only call “Granny-bra’s”. Now, some years have passed since my first purchase of my favourite bra, but I resent the underlying suggestion that I should now be moving onto Granny-bra’s. You have left me no choice but to make the drastic move to another brand altogether.

An infuriating hour of trying on what felt like thousands and thousands of bra’s, different sizes, different cuts, and I found myself absolutely confused about what size I really am, sending hysterical messages of despair to my husband about my body, which is obviously deformed beyond human recognition – obviously, if I can’t get a single bra to friggin fit the same way that my old one used to….!!!!!!

*deep breathing*

And so, dear manufacturer, I bid you farewell, and the song “No it isn’t” by the band, +44 is our parting song…

Please understand:
This isn’t just ‘Goodbye’
This is ‘I can’t stand you’

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