The Flying Scissors, and being generally flipping cool

Got new boxing gloves this week.

Golly, it's exciting. My old gloves were almost ten years old, and starting to cause a wrist injury. I used the new ones for the first time this evening, woweeeeeeeeee :) *happy dance*

So my gloves look kinda like this...

...Twins Special is a top brand in martial arts apparel, these particular gloves being hand-made from genuine leather in Thailand. They are used by professionals all over the world.

At one point this evening, I really felt like I had spontaneously become a more awesome boxer. I felt faster and stronger, my punches felt like they carried more weight, I thought my posture had improved and that maybe, just maybe, I looked as wicked-cool-dangerous as I feel when I'm boxing. Oh yeeeaaah, these gloves have definitely made me a more proficient boxer. Move out the way Ali, I'm about to float like a butterfly and sting  like a bee. 

So, I was well into my training this evening, and increasingly convinced that I have been transformed into the next Baby Jake. I've been working on a wicked combo for the past few weeks, one that I've nicknamed "The Flying Scissors". It sounds dangerous, doesn't it? Yes. I'm impressed too. My husband assures me that it is rather intimidating to watch as well. I don't care that he's biased and trying to win brownie points.

The Flying Scissors consists of a back-hand, followed closely by a some weird kung fu sweeping backhand by the other hand. I then use the momentum from this sweeping motion to perform one final, lethal, spinning backhand with the same hand that delivered the first back-hand. Ok, I know I've lost you, but essentially, it's three back-hands one after the other in a Tekken-style spinning motion, probably highly illegal in most martial arts, and very aggressive. And it feels pretty flipping cool.

This particular combo requires several things that I naturally fall short of...
Grace. (usually bestowed on those who don't habitually trip over their own feet)
Hand-eye coordination. (not the kind where you hit yourself in the eye - that's the kind I do have)
Balance. (Yeah, right!)
Aim. (There's nothing quite as awkward and humiliating as missing the punching bag at full speed.. Doh!)

Being the clumsy, nerdy girl I am, I was quite surprised this evening to find myself delivering the Flying Scissors with such grace, coordination, balance and aim. Such precision. Wow. If I were my punching bag, I would have been profoundly terrified of me.

If I had known that my intrinsic clumsiness could be cured with a new pair of boxing gloves, I would have acquired these a long time ago.  I officially feel kick-ass cool.

For now anyways.


Bruce Lee: Fear not the man who has practiced a thousand kicks once; but the man who has practiced one kick a thousand times.